hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Who died my cat blue again?
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