I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish i was in the wii world.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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