would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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