Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
