she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm both gender and math confused
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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