So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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