I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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