I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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