She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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