Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
