Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
