I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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