It's Friday. Sex?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
