Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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