You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
