yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
