hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
