Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
