i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
