You smell like a Billy Joel song
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
