Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
