Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Randomize
