Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
