My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Need sex. Gaining weight.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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