i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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