I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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