Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize