I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
