You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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