we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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