so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
