you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
