apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize