i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Small penises have feelings too.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
