just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
