So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
