Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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