I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
