Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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