guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
