The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I'm really busy with my period
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