some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
