You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
