a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize