If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
