He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
