Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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