I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
