She is in my trunk
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
