whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
