ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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