More tranny stories later!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize