i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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