I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
