Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
