Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Duck Duck Cougar?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
