I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
