my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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