I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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