Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
