Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
