she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
