I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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