If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
