Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
